


Fallacies Abound

by Nostalgic_Kitty



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Crack, First Kiss, Fluff, Honestly Erik what are you thinking, M/M, what happens in tales chat doesn't always stay in tales chat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 03:43:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3554795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nostalgic_Kitty/pseuds/Nostalgic_Kitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik has stupid plans. Charles hopes to fix this. Until-finally-Erik thinks of a good one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fallacies Abound

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Unforgotten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforgotten/gifts), [Cesare](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cesare/gifts), [keire_ke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keire_ke/gifts).



> Short crack fic from tales chat! Ooops, another thing I wasn't supposed to write haha. But everyone in the chat is just too encouraging. This is for Unforgotten, Cesare, and Keire-ke, who all helped me plot this thing out/inspired it. Thanks for including me in your shenanigans, guys!

Within seconds of meeting him, Charles Xavier learns three things about Erik Lehnsherr:  he is like him, a mutant; he has undergone more pain than Charles had previously thought possible; and he is probably the most intelligent person with the dumbest plans.

You see, it's not that Erik is stupid _per se_ , so much as that his actions are normally both poorly-thought-out and rash. As Charles pulls him from the water and they clamber onto a coast guard boat and Charles finally gets a good look at him, all he can think is _you're lucky you're so pretty_.

And that's the problem, really; Erik _is_ very pretty—and handsome and sexy and hot and—you get the picture. The point is, Charles explains as he talks to Raven in low tones on the deck of the ship, he is a very attractive man. Possibly too attractive. ("God, Charles, can't you keep it in your pants for _one second_?" Raven asks. Charles does not dignify this with an answer.) Charles doesn't know how he holds himself back that first night, but he manages somehow.

Having averted one crisis—Erik's attempt to leave to hunt Shaw alone again is exhibit A of his planning efficacy—Charles assumes that they can move past his previous failures and, together, make much more headway on the Shaw issue than Erik ever seems to have in all the years he was hunting him. It doesn't hurt their efforts that Charles is a powerful telepath capable of tracking Shaw's people—but that is beside the point.

*

All seems to be going fairly well until Erik goes charging into a Russian General's home in the midst of Soviet Russia. Charles almost wants to roll his eyes with how brashly stupid the action is, but instead he tells Moira that he can't leave him and charges on after, picking up the pieces of Erik's mess as he goes.

The thing is, Charles knows just how dumb Erik's plans have been in the past. When he told Erik that he knew everything about him, he wasn't exaggerating _that_ much. In those first few moments of raw knowledge as he jumped into the water after Erik, he had seen every plot to kill Shaw that Erik had ever attempted to pull off. There's the one where he masqueraded as a woman to get close to one of Shaw's people, failing to realize that his extremely male form would give him away. Then there's the one where he planned to steal a serum that claimed to be capable of turning humans into insects. He had planned to then dramatically squash Shaw under his foot like the vermin he is. _That_ one hadn't gone so well either.  And of course Charles can't forget the one that involved a complex diversion that required Erik to disguise himself as a deer. That one was just _absurd_.It is just the sad truth that the overwhelming majority of these schemes are completely and utterly dim-witted. So this really isn't out of character for Erik, Charles thinks as he chases after Erik into the general's house, but vows to set Erik on the right path—as soon as he bloody catches up with him. Erik's legs are much longer than Charles', unsurprisingly.

It doesn't help matters at all, of course, when Erik manages to get what he wants out of their confrontation with the female telepath anyways. _This will only encourage him_ , Charles thinks. So after the incident, on the way back to the plane, Charles takes Erik aside to have a little _chat_ with him.

"Look, my friend, I know you want to capture Shaw more than anyone—" Charles starts, before Erik cuts him off.

" _Kill_ , Charles. I want to kill him."

"Yes, yes, I know. Anyways, I've been meaning to talk to you about your _tactics_ regarding Shaw. I think they could use a little work," Charles continues. Erik is looking at him with a hurt and defensive expression.

"My plans are just fine, thank you very much."

"Yes I see how you could _think_ that, Erik, but I hate to tell you  that—"

Of course it's then that Moira comes over and informs them that the base has been attacked, Angel taken and Darwin killed. Too overcome by grief and shaky with fear for Raven and the others, Charles feels all thoughts of righting Erik's thinking leave his mind.

*

Much later, once the blow of Darwin's death and Angel's departure have eased to a manageable level, Charles decides that it is time to broach the subject once more. They are at the mansion by then, and they've had _far_ too much to drink. They are sitting side by side on the sofa in the study, collapsing against each other in a fit of laughter, chess game long forgotten. _Fuck it_ , Charles thinks. Might as well bring it up now.

"Erik. Errrrrrik. Erik, my friend. I've been meaning to tell you—something," Charles slurs, placing a familiar hand on Erik's shoulder—perhaps too familiar, but Charles is too drunk to care at this point.

"Well, spit it out, Charles!" Erik yells, laughing and practically giggling his name. "Tell meeeeeee!"

"Shhhhhhhh, Erik! It's a secret—I think. It's really quite funny, actually," Charles says, giggling too in a most undignified manner. "You see, my _dear_ friend, your plans to kill Shaw—they are just— _atrocious_!!"

He breaks down laughing at the hurt look on Erik's face, which quickly turns to uncontrollable mirth as he laughs into Charles' neck. His breath ghosts against Charles' skin in a most distracting manner.

"You really are right, Charles! They really, really are!" Erik says, chuckling and running a familiar hand down Charles' arm to twine his fingers with Charles'. Charles is so surprised by the gesture that he is almost shocked out of his drunken stupor. But he shakes it off when Erik pulls him to his feet and drags him out into the hallway.

"Come on, Charles! Let's go kill Shaw right now! I think I have a plan that should—" giggle "—work this time! Now, do you have any swords lying around?"

"I DO! Where did I put them again?" Charles says, staggering after Erik as he marches unsteadily down the hall. "I think they are in the east—what's it called. Yeah, there!"

Somehow, they manage to drunkenly stumble their way to an old set of armor, Erik extracting the sword with his powers. Once it is in hand, they sneak down the hallway, heading towards the front door and giggling all the way.

"We'll use your telepathy to sneak up on him and—pow!—I'll get him with the sword! It's the perfect revenge story!"

"YES, it IS! Now if I could only locate my keys . . ."

And this is when Raven emerges from her room, rubbing her eyes and looking very annoyed.

"What in the hell are you two doing?! It's nearly 4 AM, and _some_ people would like to sleep around here!" It is then that she notices the sword in Erik's hand, and promptly marches over to Erik, extracting it from his hands.

"Put that down, will you? You both are far too drunk to be handling a weapon," she says, setting the sword down as far away from the two men as possible.

"But Raveeeeeen, we're on a Secret Mission to kill Shaw! Erik finally thought of a good plan!"

"Yeah Raveeeeeen, Secret Mission! Secret Mission!"

Sighing dramatically, Raven spins and kicks the both the both of them unconscious. Blackness consumes Charles' vision, his last thought of Erik.

*

Waking up the next morning is fucking _hell_. Charles' head feels like it splitting open, and as last night begins to return to his mind, he becomes utterly and completely mortified. The children will be laughing at them for _months_.But under his head is something soft that smells like Erik, and he really is quite comfortable aside from the hangover. He seems to be in his own bed, too, and he is too tired to wonder how exactly he ended up there.

Shifting to get a better look at his pillow, Charles realizes that said pillow is, in fact, Erik himself. Startling out of his sleepy stupor, he moves to shake Erik awake.

"Erik, my friend," he says, trying to ignore the way Erik's long eyelashes fan out across the curve of his cheek. He looks so much younger in sleep, frown lines smoothed away and his breathing soft. Erik whines softly in the back of his throat as he comes to, shifting under Charles weight.

"Charles? Where? What? Did I really . . . parade around with a sword last night?" He says the last part sheepishly, opening his eyes all at once, only for his breathing to pause as he realizes how close together they are.

Then, a surge of attraction and lust that is absolutely _not_ his own hits Charles full-force. The only logical explanation is that it is Erik's. Shocked even more awake, Charles freezes in place, painfully aware of everywhere they are touching.

Then Erik whispers his name, like a prayer, and asks "Can I . . .?" trailing off. But Charles knows what he intends to do, and his breathing halts in anticipation. He feels Erik's mind shaping the plan, how he will kiss him just right, soft and perfect and with all the worship he deserves.

So Charles does the only thing he can and leans forward.

They kiss for what feels like hours, wrapped up together in bed, Charles gathered close in Erik's arms. Finally breaking apart, Charles whispers seductively in Erik's ear:

"My friend, I do believe what you are thinking is the best plan you've ever made," Charles says. Erik grins against his neck and rolls over, trapping Charles underneath him and proceeding to kiss him senseless.


End file.
